But sometimes you have that moment. Where the last thing you want to do is accept some wrongdoing against you, such as my post-perm haircut in 9th grade (think Fara Faucett meets Edward Scissorhands), my near-homerun caught at the warning track due to a sudden change of wind-direction in the Regional Championship my senior year of high school, and my family's plague of terrible eyesight.
However, sometimes, there's a beyond.
Sometimes, I close my eyes or look at the sky and say,
GOD, why did you inVENT these things?!!!!
These are my list of complaints:
But today. Ohhhh, today. It's the day I wanted to get over with, but the day I've been procrastinating. It's a day that's brought about months of paranoia, medical checks, extra showers...
...
God created something so utterly pointless, so characterless, so crude, that in all its nothingness, all its boredom, it's decide to nest in my hair.
My head has itched for the last 9 months of my service--I've had it checked UMTEEN million times for lice, but always zilch.
About a month ago, during Camp GLOW, I was hugging so many girls (one of which we actually SAW lice in her hair and immediately ran to take approximately 3-5 showers), so it makes sense that I got it then. Which means I've had it for a MONTH!
About 3 weeks ago, I had a friend check my hair...I'd been scratching and scratching and she found a small brownish thing that just looked like a piece of my hair, as though I'd scratched out the root or something. So we thought that was that. No lice.
But over the next 3-ish weeks, my head has gotten itchier and itchier, I'm scratching more and more, scrubbing with shampoo, conditioning the crap out of my scalp (many of us have crazy dry scalps here,) and such.
However, I spent so much time waking up last night from my itchy head that I decided to call it quits. I went to the PC Medical Office this morning, where the lady took 2 seconds parting my hair and said, "Oh, Jamie, you do. You have them." She picked a couple, then said, "The nits have already hatched and you have them all over...let me get you the shampoo."
The most excrutiating part of the whole thing is that I had to go to work. I sat there for 3 1/2 hours just WAITING to shampoo my hair at lunch. At break, I biked to a store, found a fine-tooth comb, booked it to my house, and stormed through to the sink where I could apply the solution to my hair so aggressively I splattered it all over my clothes. 'Line (new infant kitty) was kind of freaking out.
I shampood twice, following the directions. After the first rinse I found lice corpses sliding down my dripping hair and felt a disgusting sort of vengeance.
Back to God. WHY on earth would creating lice be a good idea? Are they the spawn of some cool insect, like lady bugs? Lice do nothing but bother things, spread disease. They breed their spawn with special saliva that attaches to hair. They feed off of dried flesh! Why, God. Why?
So after my 5 hour pity party, I'm climbing out of my dark place of utter shame and resentment. I keep reverting back to my primary school days when I was prejudiced against the trailer park kids across the road (--we often had rock wars--) and blamed a girl in my class, who lived in that trailer park, for giving me lice.
I reckon I'm just at a point where I need to add this to my list of acceptance and move on with life. Lice...happens.
Now I just want to clean everything.
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