This little piggy was black,
this little piggy was brown
this little piggy likes to smack
the other little piggy around
because the first little piggy was a boy
and the other little piggy was a girl
and those little piggies like to toy
until their little piggy tails uncurl.
(A poem about piggy shenanigans I had to witness while walking through my village. I wanted to yell, 'get a room!' or 'find a pighole!' or 'don't do that sh** on the side of the road!')
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Of Love, Literature
`If I turned towards books, it was because they were the only sanctuary I knew, one I needed in order to survive, to protect some aspect of myself that was now in constant retreat.` from Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi.
(FOREWORD: THIS WILL BE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE IM USING A DIFFERENT COMPUTER WITH A FUNKY KEYBOARD... BECAUSE ITS JAPANESE AND ITS EXHAUSTING TO HOLD DOWN THE SHIFT BUTTON. SO MY BAD GUYS. I PROMISE IM NOT YELLING AT YOU. AND FORGIVE MY LACK OF APOSTROPHES-- ITS IN A FUNNY PLACE THATS TOO AWKWARD TO REACH.)
JOURNAL ENTRY DOCUMENTED 5/20/11, 7 PM IN THE ITALIAN LEATHERBOUND NOTEBOOK MY WONDERFUL BROTHER BOUGHT ME AS A GOING AWAY PRESENT FROM BARNES AND NOBLE. THIS ENTRY BEGAN ON PAGE 288 OF THE JOURNAL AND ENDS ON 292. YES, I WRITE THAT MUCH.
IVE FALLEN IN LOVE AGAIN. IM NOT SURE WHEN IT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME--IN FACT, IM CONVINCED IT WAS A GRADUAL, SUBTLE PROCESS. I SOUGHT IT BECAUSE UPON ENTERING COLLEGE, I WAS GOOD AT ENGLISH. AND MY ANXIETY WAS, IN FACT, LITERATURE. I FELT SO SMALL AND UNWORTHY--IN FACT, I FELT missing COMPARED TO IT. DR LEE AT KWC (MY FIRST SCHOOL) ENCOURAGED ME IN ALL THINGS LITERATURE, AND AFTER I TRANSFERRED TO WKU, I REALIZED MY ENTHUSIASM AND HIGH ESTEEM TURNED TO A GREATER NEED, AND UNEXPLAINABLE PASSION. THE GREAT AUTHORS--OR MY FAVORITE ONES, ANYWAY--MADE ME ACCEPT THE NOT-SO-NEW LOVE OF MY LIFE.
READING LOLITA IN TEHRAN (BY NAFISI), AND ALSO CREDITING DOSTOEVSKY`S CRIME AND PUNISHMENT, HAS MADE ME WAKE UP TO MYSELF, MY INNER PASSION, MY SELF THAT ISN:T LOST. MY LOVE FOR LITERATURE.
SEE, I THINK PC IS MENTALLY TOUGHENING, BUT EQUALLY STRAINING, BECAUSE I FEEL THAT MY VERY BEING IS SHAPED INTO THIS QUESTION MARK. HERE, TONGANS HAVE THIS PERCEPTION OF ME: SINGLE PALANGI TEACHER WHO IS SOCIAL BUT PRIVATE AND HAS WEIRD HABITS AND DOESNT SHARE FOOD LIKE TONGANS.
BACK HOME, IM WORDS ON A BLOG PAGE OR A FACE IN A PICTURE FRAME. SOMETIMES A VOICE IN A 30-MIN PHONE CONVERSATION. BEFORE I LEFT, ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WORLD EMAILED THAT SHE FELT THAT MY GOING AWAY PARTY WAS LIKE A FUNERAL, AND SHE WAS REALLY UPSET THAT I WAS LEAVING FOR SO LONG. AT THE TIME I THOUGHT, WOAH--THATS MORBID, BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND. TO MYSELF, IM VACANT. AND I LITERALLY MEAN THAT, TO MYSELF. I STARE EMPTILY AND OFTEN AT NOTHING IN PARTICULAR. MOSTLY AT A WALL IN MY KITCHEN (TO WHICH IVE POSTED TONGAN PRONOUNS, HOPING THAT IN TIME, THOSE PRONOUNS WILL BE IMPRINTED IN MY BRAIN MATTER.) HERE, IN MY VILLAGE, IM PHYSICALLY PRESENT BUT EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLY GUARDED. THESE PEOPLE WON:T REALLY KNOW ME, AND THOUGH THEY CARE IN A TONGAN WAY (I.E. YOU NEED TONGAN FOOD AND A TONGAN HUSBAND), IM NOT REAL TO THEM. IM THEIR PALANGI PEACE CORPS PROJECTION OF WHAT A PALANGI PEACE CORPS IS. THEY DONT CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THE SPECIFICS OF MY SPECIFICS, BUT ONLY BECAUSE ITS COMPLETELY FOREIGN TO THEM. I MOSTLY ACCEPT THIS ROLE.
MY SELFISH SIDE DOESNT LIKE TO ACCEPT MY VACANCY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, THOUGH. I FEEL HURT WHEN AN EMAIL I SENT A WEEK AGO IS LEFT UNANSWERED WHEN I HIKED MY ARSE OFF AND NO ONE OFFERED ME A RIDE AND I PLAYED $3 FOR ONE HOUR OF WORDS FROM HOME THAT DONT CURRENTLY EXIST.
ITS NOT THE GUILT TRIP IT SEEMS TO BE. I PROMISE. IN FACT, IT ACTUALL is SELFISH, BECAUSE MY SELF LOVE IS HURT THAT LIFE IN CLEAN LIFE GOES ON SO EASILY WITHOUT ME. AND THOUGH IM THE PEACE CORPS FRIEND, THE FAMILY MEMBER IN TONGA, AND MY `LEGACY` IS IN AMERICA, IM UNSEEN, UNTOUCHED, UNHEARD. NO ONE IS WITNESSING MY VASTLY IMPROVING AND CREATIVE COOKING ABILITIES, MY SILLY NEW HABITS (TOOTHPASTE IN THE FRIDGE, NOT FLUSHING WHEN I PEE), MY IMPROVING TONGAN SPEECH, MY SHOWER RITUALS, MY KID SIZED BED WITH MY FEET DANGLING OFF THE END, MY MOSQUITO NET BED CAVE, MY EYES THAT INSTANTLY TEAR FROM ONIONS OR A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT SKY. YOU CAN ONLY READ THESE THINGS- AND IF YOU KNOW ME- CAN PROBABLY HEAR MY VOICE. BUT ITS VERY TRYING, FEELING GHOST-LIKE. NOT SEEING MY YOUNGEST NIECE`S FIRST STEPS, MISSING MY BABY BROTHER:S COLLEGE GRADUATION NEXT YEAR, WANTING RANDOM GETAWAYS WITH MY BEST FRIENDS, NEEDING TO HEAR STORIES FROM MY AMAZINGLY SMART 3 YEAR OLD NIECE, EATING BROWNIE BATTER WITH MY SISTER. MY PARENTS` AMAZING HUGS. BECAUSE JUST AS IM VACANT FROM THEM, THEY, TOO, ARE ONLY WORDS IN EMAILS, FACES IN PICTURES, OR VOICES IN 30 MIN CONVOS (IF IM LUCKY AND MY PHONE COOPERATES.)
ALL THIS SOUNDS DEPRESSING, DOESNT IT? AS IF IM AT THE END OF MY WITS, AS THOUGH ILL NEVER AGAIN EAT BELGIAN CHOCOLATE OR SING INTO A SPATULA WITH MY MOM IN THE KITCHEN. BUT IM NOT DEPRESSED. IM UNDERSTANDING NOW WHERE SAD FEELINGS ARE PENETRATING FROM. AND I KNOW THAT ALL THIS READING ISNT A SAD, EMPTY FILLER TO EXTRA TIME ON MY HANDS.
I AM IN LOVE WITH LITERATURE BECAUSE ITS NOT JUST WORDS ON A PAGE. IT IS A WONDERFUL PLACE WHERE I EXPERIENCE SO MANY ENVIRONMENTS, SEE SO MANY CHARACTERS, FEEL THEIR TURMOIL AND JOYS, TASTE THEIR EMOTIONS, HEAR THEIR INTERACTIONS, ITS A PLACE WHERE IM NOT JUDGED AND DONT JUDGE (UNLESS ITS CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN FICTION. EESH.) AND THOUGH I LOVE THESE WORLDS, THEYRE NOT MINE, IM MERELY VISITING. BUT THAT EPIPHANIC MOMENT, THAT LOVELY, SURPRISING GROWTH TO MY OWN SOUL--THATS MINE TO KEEP.
BOOKS HAVE BEEN A CONSTANT COMPANION TO ME, ON A SERIOUS LEVEL, FOR 5 YEARS NOW. IVE SLEPT ON THEM, CUDDLED THEM, THROWN THEM, TOOK ENTHUSIASTIC NOTES IN THEM, SCHOWLED AT THEM, WEPT AT THEM, LAUGHED AT THEIR SARCASM, ENHALED THEIR WONDERFUL, FAMILIAR SMELL, AND CARESSED THEIR SMOOTH COVER.
I SUPPOSE I COULD SOUND PSYCHOTIC TO SOME. ITS OKAY, I ACCEPT IT. ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT WITH EVERY BOOK, A SMALL or large (IN CASES OF BLUE LIKE JAZZ BY DON MILLER OR THE CAGED VIRGIN BY AYAN HIRSI ALI), PIECE OF IGNORANCE IS SCRAPED AWAY. SURE, I GAIN KNOWLEDGE, BUT I GAIN UNDERSTANDING ABOUT THE WORLD, MYSELF. I SEE CHARACTERISTICS I STRIVE TO GAIN, BELIEFS I SEEK TO UNDERSTAND, PAIN I WISH I DIDNT. I SEE FAMILIARITY, RELATIVITY. SOMETIMES I SEE REFLECTIONS OF MYSELF: MY PAST SELF, A CRUDE AND JUDGMENTAL BUT CONFUSED GIRL WHO NEEDED TO FIND HERSELF.
AND ITS BECAUSE OF BOOKS THAT I UNVEILED WHO I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BIRTHED A PERSON I DIDNT NEARLY HATE ANYMORE. A GIRL WITH GENUINE COMPASSION, GOALS, CARES STRUGGLES. BECAUSE OF THOUSANDS, MILLIONS OF PAGES, I ESCAPED AND WAS FINALLY RELEASED.
IT ALL SOUNDS ROMANTIC, DOESNT IT? LIKE I SHOULD TAKE MR. LITERATURE HOME AND INTRODUCE HIM TO MY PARENTS OR SOMETHING. ITS ROMANTIC AND ITS SOMETHING A BOOK NERD WOULD SAY, WHICH MAKES IT FITTING THAT THE ROMANTIC PERIOD IS MY FAVORITE IN ART AND LITERATURE. BUT TRY AND HEAR MY CONVICTION IN THESE WORDS, TUCKED BETWEEN SYLLABLES AND SCRAPPY PUNCTUATION. AND ALL CAPS LETTERS. (SORRY, I HOPE YOUR EYES ARE ADJUSTED.)
IVE NEVER BEEN MORE PHYSICALLY ISOLATED OR ALONE, BUT EMOTIONALLY, I HAVE. GOOD NEWS IS THAT BOOKS PREVENT TOO MUCH SECLUSION. AND I DONT REALLY FEEL VICTIMIZED BY LONELINESS- IN FACT, BEING ALONE IS A BLESSING RIGHT NOW, MOST OF THE TIME. BUT IN MY SECLUSION, I CAN LOOK AT A CLIFF ON A CLOUDY DAY AND PICTURE A SCENE FROM A BRONTE OR AUSTEN NOVEL. I CAN HAVE A FRUITFUL BIBLE STUDY WITH A LOVELY WOMAN WHO HOLDS DIFFERENT BELIEFS FROM ME, BUT BECAUSE OF DON MILLER, ANN LAMOTT, AND JESUS HIMSELF, WE CAN PEACEFULLY MARVEL AT HOW COOL OF A GUY JESUS WAS. READING DOES THAT.
IVE THROWN MYSELF INTO THE WRITTEN WORD BECAUSE I DONT HAVE TO RUSH TO UNDERSTAND OR BE QUICK TOACT IN CONTRAST WITH THE SPOKEN WORD.IVE GOT TIME TO FORM OPINIONS, THEORIES, ATTACHMENTS. AND THIS SUITS ME BECAUSE THE SPOKEN WORD IS NOT MY STRENGTH. WHERE I FORMALLY WAS HASTY TO EXPRESS ILL-FORMED OPINIONS, NOW ID RATHER BE SILENT AND BROOD OVER SOMETHING IN MY NOTEBOOK. AND HERE, IM NOT VACANT, BUT ALIVE, FUNCTIONING, AND IN MY TRUE FORM.
*AUTHORS NOTE: THANKS FOR BARING WITH THE EYE-BOGGLING ALL CAPS AND QUITE SERIOUS SUBJECT MATTER. MAYBE NEXT TIME ILL TELL A JOKE. OR A FUNNY STORY. LIKE HOW I DREAM OF MY FATHER`S GRILLED BURGERS WHILE TRYING TO OVERCOME TERRIBLE CONSTIPATION DUE TO TOO MANY BREADS AND OTHER BOWEL-CLOGGING FOODS.
(FOREWORD: THIS WILL BE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE IM USING A DIFFERENT COMPUTER WITH A FUNKY KEYBOARD... BECAUSE ITS JAPANESE AND ITS EXHAUSTING TO HOLD DOWN THE SHIFT BUTTON. SO MY BAD GUYS. I PROMISE IM NOT YELLING AT YOU. AND FORGIVE MY LACK OF APOSTROPHES-- ITS IN A FUNNY PLACE THATS TOO AWKWARD TO REACH.)
JOURNAL ENTRY DOCUMENTED 5/20/11, 7 PM IN THE ITALIAN LEATHERBOUND NOTEBOOK MY WONDERFUL BROTHER BOUGHT ME AS A GOING AWAY PRESENT FROM BARNES AND NOBLE. THIS ENTRY BEGAN ON PAGE 288 OF THE JOURNAL AND ENDS ON 292. YES, I WRITE THAT MUCH.
IVE FALLEN IN LOVE AGAIN. IM NOT SURE WHEN IT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME--IN FACT, IM CONVINCED IT WAS A GRADUAL, SUBTLE PROCESS. I SOUGHT IT BECAUSE UPON ENTERING COLLEGE, I WAS GOOD AT ENGLISH. AND MY ANXIETY WAS, IN FACT, LITERATURE. I FELT SO SMALL AND UNWORTHY--IN FACT, I FELT missing COMPARED TO IT. DR LEE AT KWC (MY FIRST SCHOOL) ENCOURAGED ME IN ALL THINGS LITERATURE, AND AFTER I TRANSFERRED TO WKU, I REALIZED MY ENTHUSIASM AND HIGH ESTEEM TURNED TO A GREATER NEED, AND UNEXPLAINABLE PASSION. THE GREAT AUTHORS--OR MY FAVORITE ONES, ANYWAY--MADE ME ACCEPT THE NOT-SO-NEW LOVE OF MY LIFE.
READING LOLITA IN TEHRAN (BY NAFISI), AND ALSO CREDITING DOSTOEVSKY`S CRIME AND PUNISHMENT, HAS MADE ME WAKE UP TO MYSELF, MY INNER PASSION, MY SELF THAT ISN:T LOST. MY LOVE FOR LITERATURE.
SEE, I THINK PC IS MENTALLY TOUGHENING, BUT EQUALLY STRAINING, BECAUSE I FEEL THAT MY VERY BEING IS SHAPED INTO THIS QUESTION MARK. HERE, TONGANS HAVE THIS PERCEPTION OF ME: SINGLE PALANGI TEACHER WHO IS SOCIAL BUT PRIVATE AND HAS WEIRD HABITS AND DOESNT SHARE FOOD LIKE TONGANS.
BACK HOME, IM WORDS ON A BLOG PAGE OR A FACE IN A PICTURE FRAME. SOMETIMES A VOICE IN A 30-MIN PHONE CONVERSATION. BEFORE I LEFT, ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WORLD EMAILED THAT SHE FELT THAT MY GOING AWAY PARTY WAS LIKE A FUNERAL, AND SHE WAS REALLY UPSET THAT I WAS LEAVING FOR SO LONG. AT THE TIME I THOUGHT, WOAH--THATS MORBID, BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND. TO MYSELF, IM VACANT. AND I LITERALLY MEAN THAT, TO MYSELF. I STARE EMPTILY AND OFTEN AT NOTHING IN PARTICULAR. MOSTLY AT A WALL IN MY KITCHEN (TO WHICH IVE POSTED TONGAN PRONOUNS, HOPING THAT IN TIME, THOSE PRONOUNS WILL BE IMPRINTED IN MY BRAIN MATTER.) HERE, IN MY VILLAGE, IM PHYSICALLY PRESENT BUT EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLY GUARDED. THESE PEOPLE WON:T REALLY KNOW ME, AND THOUGH THEY CARE IN A TONGAN WAY (I.E. YOU NEED TONGAN FOOD AND A TONGAN HUSBAND), IM NOT REAL TO THEM. IM THEIR PALANGI PEACE CORPS PROJECTION OF WHAT A PALANGI PEACE CORPS IS. THEY DONT CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THE SPECIFICS OF MY SPECIFICS, BUT ONLY BECAUSE ITS COMPLETELY FOREIGN TO THEM. I MOSTLY ACCEPT THIS ROLE.
MY SELFISH SIDE DOESNT LIKE TO ACCEPT MY VACANCY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, THOUGH. I FEEL HURT WHEN AN EMAIL I SENT A WEEK AGO IS LEFT UNANSWERED WHEN I HIKED MY ARSE OFF AND NO ONE OFFERED ME A RIDE AND I PLAYED $3 FOR ONE HOUR OF WORDS FROM HOME THAT DONT CURRENTLY EXIST.
ITS NOT THE GUILT TRIP IT SEEMS TO BE. I PROMISE. IN FACT, IT ACTUALL is SELFISH, BECAUSE MY SELF LOVE IS HURT THAT LIFE IN CLEAN LIFE GOES ON SO EASILY WITHOUT ME. AND THOUGH IM THE PEACE CORPS FRIEND, THE FAMILY MEMBER IN TONGA, AND MY `LEGACY` IS IN AMERICA, IM UNSEEN, UNTOUCHED, UNHEARD. NO ONE IS WITNESSING MY VASTLY IMPROVING AND CREATIVE COOKING ABILITIES, MY SILLY NEW HABITS (TOOTHPASTE IN THE FRIDGE, NOT FLUSHING WHEN I PEE), MY IMPROVING TONGAN SPEECH, MY SHOWER RITUALS, MY KID SIZED BED WITH MY FEET DANGLING OFF THE END, MY MOSQUITO NET BED CAVE, MY EYES THAT INSTANTLY TEAR FROM ONIONS OR A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT SKY. YOU CAN ONLY READ THESE THINGS- AND IF YOU KNOW ME- CAN PROBABLY HEAR MY VOICE. BUT ITS VERY TRYING, FEELING GHOST-LIKE. NOT SEEING MY YOUNGEST NIECE`S FIRST STEPS, MISSING MY BABY BROTHER:S COLLEGE GRADUATION NEXT YEAR, WANTING RANDOM GETAWAYS WITH MY BEST FRIENDS, NEEDING TO HEAR STORIES FROM MY AMAZINGLY SMART 3 YEAR OLD NIECE, EATING BROWNIE BATTER WITH MY SISTER. MY PARENTS` AMAZING HUGS. BECAUSE JUST AS IM VACANT FROM THEM, THEY, TOO, ARE ONLY WORDS IN EMAILS, FACES IN PICTURES, OR VOICES IN 30 MIN CONVOS (IF IM LUCKY AND MY PHONE COOPERATES.)
ALL THIS SOUNDS DEPRESSING, DOESNT IT? AS IF IM AT THE END OF MY WITS, AS THOUGH ILL NEVER AGAIN EAT BELGIAN CHOCOLATE OR SING INTO A SPATULA WITH MY MOM IN THE KITCHEN. BUT IM NOT DEPRESSED. IM UNDERSTANDING NOW WHERE SAD FEELINGS ARE PENETRATING FROM. AND I KNOW THAT ALL THIS READING ISNT A SAD, EMPTY FILLER TO EXTRA TIME ON MY HANDS.
I AM IN LOVE WITH LITERATURE BECAUSE ITS NOT JUST WORDS ON A PAGE. IT IS A WONDERFUL PLACE WHERE I EXPERIENCE SO MANY ENVIRONMENTS, SEE SO MANY CHARACTERS, FEEL THEIR TURMOIL AND JOYS, TASTE THEIR EMOTIONS, HEAR THEIR INTERACTIONS, ITS A PLACE WHERE IM NOT JUDGED AND DONT JUDGE (UNLESS ITS CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN FICTION. EESH.) AND THOUGH I LOVE THESE WORLDS, THEYRE NOT MINE, IM MERELY VISITING. BUT THAT EPIPHANIC MOMENT, THAT LOVELY, SURPRISING GROWTH TO MY OWN SOUL--THATS MINE TO KEEP.
BOOKS HAVE BEEN A CONSTANT COMPANION TO ME, ON A SERIOUS LEVEL, FOR 5 YEARS NOW. IVE SLEPT ON THEM, CUDDLED THEM, THROWN THEM, TOOK ENTHUSIASTIC NOTES IN THEM, SCHOWLED AT THEM, WEPT AT THEM, LAUGHED AT THEIR SARCASM, ENHALED THEIR WONDERFUL, FAMILIAR SMELL, AND CARESSED THEIR SMOOTH COVER.
I SUPPOSE I COULD SOUND PSYCHOTIC TO SOME. ITS OKAY, I ACCEPT IT. ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT WITH EVERY BOOK, A SMALL or large (IN CASES OF BLUE LIKE JAZZ BY DON MILLER OR THE CAGED VIRGIN BY AYAN HIRSI ALI), PIECE OF IGNORANCE IS SCRAPED AWAY. SURE, I GAIN KNOWLEDGE, BUT I GAIN UNDERSTANDING ABOUT THE WORLD, MYSELF. I SEE CHARACTERISTICS I STRIVE TO GAIN, BELIEFS I SEEK TO UNDERSTAND, PAIN I WISH I DIDNT. I SEE FAMILIARITY, RELATIVITY. SOMETIMES I SEE REFLECTIONS OF MYSELF: MY PAST SELF, A CRUDE AND JUDGMENTAL BUT CONFUSED GIRL WHO NEEDED TO FIND HERSELF.
AND ITS BECAUSE OF BOOKS THAT I UNVEILED WHO I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BIRTHED A PERSON I DIDNT NEARLY HATE ANYMORE. A GIRL WITH GENUINE COMPASSION, GOALS, CARES STRUGGLES. BECAUSE OF THOUSANDS, MILLIONS OF PAGES, I ESCAPED AND WAS FINALLY RELEASED.
IT ALL SOUNDS ROMANTIC, DOESNT IT? LIKE I SHOULD TAKE MR. LITERATURE HOME AND INTRODUCE HIM TO MY PARENTS OR SOMETHING. ITS ROMANTIC AND ITS SOMETHING A BOOK NERD WOULD SAY, WHICH MAKES IT FITTING THAT THE ROMANTIC PERIOD IS MY FAVORITE IN ART AND LITERATURE. BUT TRY AND HEAR MY CONVICTION IN THESE WORDS, TUCKED BETWEEN SYLLABLES AND SCRAPPY PUNCTUATION. AND ALL CAPS LETTERS. (SORRY, I HOPE YOUR EYES ARE ADJUSTED.)
IVE NEVER BEEN MORE PHYSICALLY ISOLATED OR ALONE, BUT EMOTIONALLY, I HAVE. GOOD NEWS IS THAT BOOKS PREVENT TOO MUCH SECLUSION. AND I DONT REALLY FEEL VICTIMIZED BY LONELINESS- IN FACT, BEING ALONE IS A BLESSING RIGHT NOW, MOST OF THE TIME. BUT IN MY SECLUSION, I CAN LOOK AT A CLIFF ON A CLOUDY DAY AND PICTURE A SCENE FROM A BRONTE OR AUSTEN NOVEL. I CAN HAVE A FRUITFUL BIBLE STUDY WITH A LOVELY WOMAN WHO HOLDS DIFFERENT BELIEFS FROM ME, BUT BECAUSE OF DON MILLER, ANN LAMOTT, AND JESUS HIMSELF, WE CAN PEACEFULLY MARVEL AT HOW COOL OF A GUY JESUS WAS. READING DOES THAT.
IVE THROWN MYSELF INTO THE WRITTEN WORD BECAUSE I DONT HAVE TO RUSH TO UNDERSTAND OR BE QUICK TOACT IN CONTRAST WITH THE SPOKEN WORD.IVE GOT TIME TO FORM OPINIONS, THEORIES, ATTACHMENTS. AND THIS SUITS ME BECAUSE THE SPOKEN WORD IS NOT MY STRENGTH. WHERE I FORMALLY WAS HASTY TO EXPRESS ILL-FORMED OPINIONS, NOW ID RATHER BE SILENT AND BROOD OVER SOMETHING IN MY NOTEBOOK. AND HERE, IM NOT VACANT, BUT ALIVE, FUNCTIONING, AND IN MY TRUE FORM.
*AUTHORS NOTE: THANKS FOR BARING WITH THE EYE-BOGGLING ALL CAPS AND QUITE SERIOUS SUBJECT MATTER. MAYBE NEXT TIME ILL TELL A JOKE. OR A FUNNY STORY. LIKE HOW I DREAM OF MY FATHER`S GRILLED BURGERS WHILE TRYING TO OVERCOME TERRIBLE CONSTIPATION DUE TO TOO MANY BREADS AND OTHER BOWEL-CLOGGING FOODS.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Refrigerated Toothpaste
This will be a hodge-podge declaration of self, basically. More or less an update, if you will. Internet has been shoddy (gasp!), so keeping in touch with Clean Life is slightly challenging, but I'm in PC. I eat challenge for dinner, along with my root crop and homemade bread.
--I'm doing some intense budgeting, and I would love to see the look on my parents' faces right now! I've never been a needy spender as far as tons of clothes and purses and cosmetics and such, but I'm an impulse-spender. A bulk-buyer. Though I'm not a fan of Clean Life shopping, I LOVE grocery shopping. I immediately walk to the produce section and inhale all that produce poetry. Beautiful. Lord, I'm nearly tearing up just thinking of that fresh, cool, producey section of Kroger I'm so fond of. In college, it was my Happy Place. Anyway, in American dollars, I'm spending about $10 a week.
--I keep my toothpaste in the fridge now. And my toothbrush, too. At first, I did it because no matter how tightly wrapped in a bag was my nighttime essentials, the ants were ruthless in finding it and feeding off my saliva, I reckon. I refused to throw away another toothbrush too early (the first one I threw away because a crazy insect crawled in there and made me nearly pee myself... it looked like a molokau, but not so many legs.) And now, I'm rather fond of cold toothpaste. It makes my gums feel nice. :D
--I had a pretty rough week last week. Stress erupted on my face, in my brain, even in my food. Usually I'm a stress-eater, but my appetite was pretty roller-coastery. Luckily, my Medical Officer is amazing. And I have great friends.
--It's getting hard to exercise. An ex-police officer drove me from the wharf to my village last weekend and told me to stop running by myself because of safety issues. He's not the first to tell me. So now my alone-time-stress-reliever must be shared with the youth of the village who can actually log in 20-30 minutes of running barefoot on broken-pavement-and-trench-induced road in the bush. Awesome.
--I LOVE literature and miss school like crazy right now. I've contemplated more international teaching after PC (big interest in Japan), but I don't know if I can stay away from school that long. One good thing about the stress is that I really poured myself into books, and it was WONDERFUL. God, I miss being in that academic setting where you can talk on the fly, listen to criticism, contemplate interpretations.... ohhhh, coffee-and-literature culture. How I wish to indulge thee.
--Portland, Oregon. My newest fascination.
--Crime and Punishment rocked my socks. Dostoevsky makes me want to learn Russian just so I can read that book in its original test. (Plus, I'm also a Nabokov beginner, so it'd be cool to read him, too.)
--I am becoming a pretty darn good cook. I think it's because I have to make do with a limited selection. But I made a mean stuffed eggplant last night, and my homemade bread is getting better and better. And a nice stir-fry is always fun.
--I have a ripe papaya waiting at home, begging me to turn it into jam. :)
--Tomorrow I am heading off to the island's capital, 'Ohonua, to spend some time with my new friends, two Japanese volunteers. They are so tiny and adorable. But quite amazing, too. I luckily saw them in the midst of my terrible week, and they were wonderful. Plus I'd like to learn the basics of Japanese-- especially counting to 10. Every Wednesday for PE, my students and I stretch and count in English, Tongan, Dutch, and Spanish. They love when I throw in a random phrase from a different language. It's fun for me too, but I like to use it as a seed, planting in their minds that there's a huge world out there. And I love hearing one say, "O leva (wait, in Tongan), Jame. Mas despacio, por (sounds like poll) favor." (which is please slow down, in Spanish.) It's totally awesome.
--The latest song I taught to my students was "Holiday" by Weezer. When we finished they said, "My Girl! My Girl! Then Youdondonme!" Translation: My Girl by the Temptations, followed by "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. Also known as "You done done me."
--I walked to a beautiful lookout, about a 20 min walk from my village, that looks over the cliffs and the beautiful ocean. Quite high up, and the wind was really forceful. Two of the girls had NEVER BEEN! They LOVED it. "LOOOOOOk, Jame! Ohhhhh Beautiful! You see, Jame? Sio mai! Sio mai (Look at me!) Ohhh, Jame. I LOVE diss. LOVE, Jame. LOVE."
I probably seem a world away to you. I'm half of one, anyway. A tiny little freckle on the face of Earth. I'm far away from my first 23 years of existence, and Lord knows Mr. Stress bares its ugly unbrushed fangs at me. But it's my love of literature (which I will indeed romanticize in my next entry), the entertainment I get from my hilarious students, my increasing desire to cook, and refrigerated toothpaste that I hold up to those stressful moments, those plaquey unbrushed, foul breath of threatening-failure. It's not so different from home, in theory. Only a few more ants and cockroaches, a few more coconut trees, and a slightly decreased produce section at Kroger.
--I'm doing some intense budgeting, and I would love to see the look on my parents' faces right now! I've never been a needy spender as far as tons of clothes and purses and cosmetics and such, but I'm an impulse-spender. A bulk-buyer. Though I'm not a fan of Clean Life shopping, I LOVE grocery shopping. I immediately walk to the produce section and inhale all that produce poetry. Beautiful. Lord, I'm nearly tearing up just thinking of that fresh, cool, producey section of Kroger I'm so fond of. In college, it was my Happy Place. Anyway, in American dollars, I'm spending about $10 a week.
--I keep my toothpaste in the fridge now. And my toothbrush, too. At first, I did it because no matter how tightly wrapped in a bag was my nighttime essentials, the ants were ruthless in finding it and feeding off my saliva, I reckon. I refused to throw away another toothbrush too early (the first one I threw away because a crazy insect crawled in there and made me nearly pee myself... it looked like a molokau, but not so many legs.) And now, I'm rather fond of cold toothpaste. It makes my gums feel nice. :D
--I had a pretty rough week last week. Stress erupted on my face, in my brain, even in my food. Usually I'm a stress-eater, but my appetite was pretty roller-coastery. Luckily, my Medical Officer is amazing. And I have great friends.
--It's getting hard to exercise. An ex-police officer drove me from the wharf to my village last weekend and told me to stop running by myself because of safety issues. He's not the first to tell me. So now my alone-time-stress-reliever must be shared with the youth of the village who can actually log in 20-30 minutes of running barefoot on broken-pavement-and-trench-induced road in the bush. Awesome.
--I LOVE literature and miss school like crazy right now. I've contemplated more international teaching after PC (big interest in Japan), but I don't know if I can stay away from school that long. One good thing about the stress is that I really poured myself into books, and it was WONDERFUL. God, I miss being in that academic setting where you can talk on the fly, listen to criticism, contemplate interpretations.... ohhhh, coffee-and-literature culture. How I wish to indulge thee.
--Portland, Oregon. My newest fascination.
--Crime and Punishment rocked my socks. Dostoevsky makes me want to learn Russian just so I can read that book in its original test. (Plus, I'm also a Nabokov beginner, so it'd be cool to read him, too.)
--I am becoming a pretty darn good cook. I think it's because I have to make do with a limited selection. But I made a mean stuffed eggplant last night, and my homemade bread is getting better and better. And a nice stir-fry is always fun.
--I have a ripe papaya waiting at home, begging me to turn it into jam. :)
--Tomorrow I am heading off to the island's capital, 'Ohonua, to spend some time with my new friends, two Japanese volunteers. They are so tiny and adorable. But quite amazing, too. I luckily saw them in the midst of my terrible week, and they were wonderful. Plus I'd like to learn the basics of Japanese-- especially counting to 10. Every Wednesday for PE, my students and I stretch and count in English, Tongan, Dutch, and Spanish. They love when I throw in a random phrase from a different language. It's fun for me too, but I like to use it as a seed, planting in their minds that there's a huge world out there. And I love hearing one say, "O leva (wait, in Tongan), Jame. Mas despacio, por (sounds like poll) favor." (which is please slow down, in Spanish.) It's totally awesome.
--The latest song I taught to my students was "Holiday" by Weezer. When we finished they said, "My Girl! My Girl! Then Youdondonme!" Translation: My Girl by the Temptations, followed by "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. Also known as "You done done me."
--I walked to a beautiful lookout, about a 20 min walk from my village, that looks over the cliffs and the beautiful ocean. Quite high up, and the wind was really forceful. Two of the girls had NEVER BEEN! They LOVED it. "LOOOOOOk, Jame! Ohhhhh Beautiful! You see, Jame? Sio mai! Sio mai (Look at me!) Ohhh, Jame. I LOVE diss. LOVE, Jame. LOVE."
I probably seem a world away to you. I'm half of one, anyway. A tiny little freckle on the face of Earth. I'm far away from my first 23 years of existence, and Lord knows Mr. Stress bares its ugly unbrushed fangs at me. But it's my love of literature (which I will indeed romanticize in my next entry), the entertainment I get from my hilarious students, my increasing desire to cook, and refrigerated toothpaste that I hold up to those stressful moments, those plaquey unbrushed, foul breath of threatening-failure. It's not so different from home, in theory. Only a few more ants and cockroaches, a few more coconut trees, and a slightly decreased produce section at Kroger.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
When Craters Pop up on my Chin...
1. I am stressed.
2. I have a viral throat infection.
3. I am really worried about a friend/PCV who may have a heart issue.
4. My head is on a continuous aching cycle.
5. I cannot sleep.
6. I may have bedbugs again.
7. My counterpart was sick today... and I hoped to take a sick day...
8. My students don't listen when my counterpart is absent. (Which is frequently).
9. I often question how much of a difference I'm making. Yes, I'm teaching kids, yes they're (arguably) learning, and yes, we have fun. But in the grand scheme of things... ohhh, negative thoughts.
10. All I want is a 2-hour massage, earbuds that haven't been desecrated by ants, and a house free of the terrible-smelling black horned-butt cockroaches.
That's all.
2. I have a viral throat infection.
3. I am really worried about a friend/PCV who may have a heart issue.
4. My head is on a continuous aching cycle.
5. I cannot sleep.
6. I may have bedbugs again.
7. My counterpart was sick today... and I hoped to take a sick day...
8. My students don't listen when my counterpart is absent. (Which is frequently).
9. I often question how much of a difference I'm making. Yes, I'm teaching kids, yes they're (arguably) learning, and yes, we have fun. But in the grand scheme of things... ohhh, negative thoughts.
10. All I want is a 2-hour massage, earbuds that haven't been desecrated by ants, and a house free of the terrible-smelling black horned-butt cockroaches.
That's all.
When I'm Not Contorting My Face in a Teacher's Stupor
So you've heard the good, the bad, and the ugly with my teaching experiences... in a down-played version that's approved by Peace Corps, of course. However, I feel like I don't tell enough about my projects.
As a volunteer, my primary project is teaching English at my Primary School. I generally teach 3 1/2-4 hours straight, work in the library with my designated library works (2 each week), and try to keep my sanity by reading, cooking, playing the ukulele, and exercising in my off time.
What what about the other times? Am I doing anything else with my life?
Why, yes, I am. I'm so glad you asked!
On Mondays, I teach a night class for High School and college students. In Tonga, "college" is the same as high school. My students are grade levels 7-10, and they get some say in what they want to learn about. It's a cool class, although sometimes difficult to manage with the age gaps, but I also teach it out of my house. I usually have anywhere from 7-15 kids come (usually around 10-12, though), so it's a full living room. But luckily I have a very spacious house.
On Wednesdays, I have a Creative Writing class for the same grade levels, although I let some of my primary students (the behaving ones) stay. Funny enough, they're the best listeners in this class... and they can state the definition of an adjective faster than the high school kids. (Yes, I'm gloating with pride right now.) Of course, we have started with poetry, and have implemented Joni Mitchell, Rihanna (only to look at "Love the Way You Lie" when we had a class on Sexual Assault Awareness), William Carlos Williams, and others from my limited selection of poetry. Last week, we covered imagery and similes. This week, metaphors. I can't wait for personification!
Thursdays, or "Tokoni Thursdays" are my Community Service group, made mostly of high school kids and some Primary school, but mostly the older ones. I want to implement a little system in the community where I'm not the one who initiates "improvement." It should come from the communities, and I would love for the kids to really take initiative and realize what is needed. I would love to cultivate it to where we help around the island. We shall see!
Starting in July, this "Tokoni Thursdays" will also extend to helping my Class 5-6 kids prepare for the big Class 6 exam in October. My older kids will help tutor and do some "buddy reading" in order to explain concepts to my students, which helps me a lot. Also, you learn when you teach. I'm proof of that.
And last but not least, Camp GLOW (Girls Leading Our World.) This is an initiative in many PC host countries where volunteers help provide the resources to host the camp for 14 year old girls. It's a week-long, overnight camp, where the girls listen to speakers (women and men), do activities involving community service, environmental care, business, arts and crafts, Tae Kwon Do (I probably butchered that spelling, sorry), etc. We train Tongan women as Camp Counselors, and implement Junior Counselors from the previous year. This is the first year that 'Eua (my island) will host a Camp GLOW, so it's HUGE! I am the Counselor Training Manager, and we will start training the counselors by the end of July.
My proposition:
--If you have youth groups, clubs, Bible studies, churches, co workers, ANYBODY who would be interested, we need donations! Here is an excerpt from the Facebook Group (Camp GLOW Tonga):
If you can donate 10 dollars, it will pay for one camper's meals for a day - and 60 dollars can pay for her meals for the whole week!
$30 can pay for all the markers, paint brushes, etc, for the whole camp; $40 can purchase a notebook, pen, and folder for every camper; $100 can pay the cost of using the venue for the whole week; and just $150 can pay for all a camper's expenses for the entire week!
Donations are 100% tax-deductible, and every penny of your donation will be used for Camp GLOW 'EUA!
Here is the link. Thank you!!! I cannot WAIT to do this thing!
https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=421-132
As a volunteer, my primary project is teaching English at my Primary School. I generally teach 3 1/2-4 hours straight, work in the library with my designated library works (2 each week), and try to keep my sanity by reading, cooking, playing the ukulele, and exercising in my off time.
What what about the other times? Am I doing anything else with my life?
Why, yes, I am. I'm so glad you asked!
On Mondays, I teach a night class for High School and college students. In Tonga, "college" is the same as high school. My students are grade levels 7-10, and they get some say in what they want to learn about. It's a cool class, although sometimes difficult to manage with the age gaps, but I also teach it out of my house. I usually have anywhere from 7-15 kids come (usually around 10-12, though), so it's a full living room. But luckily I have a very spacious house.
On Wednesdays, I have a Creative Writing class for the same grade levels, although I let some of my primary students (the behaving ones) stay. Funny enough, they're the best listeners in this class... and they can state the definition of an adjective faster than the high school kids. (Yes, I'm gloating with pride right now.) Of course, we have started with poetry, and have implemented Joni Mitchell, Rihanna (only to look at "Love the Way You Lie" when we had a class on Sexual Assault Awareness), William Carlos Williams, and others from my limited selection of poetry. Last week, we covered imagery and similes. This week, metaphors. I can't wait for personification!
Thursdays, or "Tokoni Thursdays" are my Community Service group, made mostly of high school kids and some Primary school, but mostly the older ones. I want to implement a little system in the community where I'm not the one who initiates "improvement." It should come from the communities, and I would love for the kids to really take initiative and realize what is needed. I would love to cultivate it to where we help around the island. We shall see!
Starting in July, this "Tokoni Thursdays" will also extend to helping my Class 5-6 kids prepare for the big Class 6 exam in October. My older kids will help tutor and do some "buddy reading" in order to explain concepts to my students, which helps me a lot. Also, you learn when you teach. I'm proof of that.
And last but not least, Camp GLOW (Girls Leading Our World.) This is an initiative in many PC host countries where volunteers help provide the resources to host the camp for 14 year old girls. It's a week-long, overnight camp, where the girls listen to speakers (women and men), do activities involving community service, environmental care, business, arts and crafts, Tae Kwon Do (I probably butchered that spelling, sorry), etc. We train Tongan women as Camp Counselors, and implement Junior Counselors from the previous year. This is the first year that 'Eua (my island) will host a Camp GLOW, so it's HUGE! I am the Counselor Training Manager, and we will start training the counselors by the end of July.
My proposition:
--If you have youth groups, clubs, Bible studies, churches, co workers, ANYBODY who would be interested, we need donations! Here is an excerpt from the Facebook Group (Camp GLOW Tonga):
If you can donate 10 dollars, it will pay for one camper's meals for a day - and 60 dollars can pay for her meals for the whole week!
$30 can pay for all the markers, paint brushes, etc, for the whole camp; $40 can purchase a notebook, pen, and folder for every camper; $100 can pay the cost of using the venue for the whole week; and just $150 can pay for all a camper's expenses for the entire week!
Donations are 100% tax-deductible, and every penny of your donation will be used for Camp GLOW 'EUA!
Here is the link. Thank you!!! I cannot WAIT to do this thing!
https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=421-132
Monday, May 9, 2011
Cream Cheese, Kitten Rescues, and Alphabet Shenanigans
Hello dearest readers,
I know you are just DYING to know about my life right now. Unfortunately, my newest 'tale' will have to come at the end of the week because I'm starving and have been doing as much internet'ing as possible on a terribly slow connection. So here goes.
1. As of yesterday, I had 24 mosquito bites on my left leg, and 18 on my right.
2. I rescued a small kitten in a tree while walking yesterday morning. I named it Felipe (I've always wanted a cat named Felipe) but decided to give it to a student because having a 'pet' here is a bit of a foreign concept, and the thought of taking care of a meowing, pooping, peeing thing and then leaving it here after I leave... just sounds terrible to me. Ask my parents--keeping a pet was never really my thing. The whole bad memory thing isn't good when a living thing needs food and such.
3. I've had good lessons this week! We're working on forming sounds... and have a whole 10-minute morning system where we work on pronunciations. Credit to my sister and niece, Ella: the Leap Frog (I think?) alphabet video has totally changed the way we say our alphabet. "The A says ___, the A says __, every letter makes a sound the A says ___" totally works, because we say all the vowel sounds, then use letter combinations for a routine called the "Phonics Dance" that I got from a couple of PCVs here. Totally rad.
4. I am becoming an excellent food compiler. I had leftover Tongan food (fried chicken, 'ufi (basically, a yam/grainy potato), and some fresh pele (like spinach) and turned it into an amazing soup that I will finish for lunch today. I'm transforming, people! It's awesome!
5. I wish I had cream cheese in my life.
That's all for now. I must skidaddle before I start eating the keyboard.
For rapidity's sake, here is a link to the Camp GLOW 'Eua donation page! My next blog will be about this, so look at it for a few minutes and consider if you're interested... then I will WOW you with all the amazing details, contrived in my own Jamie-lingo, of course.
https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=421-132
Toodles, dear readers! PS, when you drive to or from work, stop somewhere (ice cream shop, coffee place, donut shop) and get yourself a yummy treat in my honor. :) Though I won't make either of those, I'm baking some fresh bread tonight. So cheers to you!
I know you are just DYING to know about my life right now. Unfortunately, my newest 'tale' will have to come at the end of the week because I'm starving and have been doing as much internet'ing as possible on a terribly slow connection. So here goes.
1. As of yesterday, I had 24 mosquito bites on my left leg, and 18 on my right.
2. I rescued a small kitten in a tree while walking yesterday morning. I named it Felipe (I've always wanted a cat named Felipe) but decided to give it to a student because having a 'pet' here is a bit of a foreign concept, and the thought of taking care of a meowing, pooping, peeing thing and then leaving it here after I leave... just sounds terrible to me. Ask my parents--keeping a pet was never really my thing. The whole bad memory thing isn't good when a living thing needs food and such.
3. I've had good lessons this week! We're working on forming sounds... and have a whole 10-minute morning system where we work on pronunciations. Credit to my sister and niece, Ella: the Leap Frog (I think?) alphabet video has totally changed the way we say our alphabet. "The A says ___, the A says __, every letter makes a sound the A says ___" totally works, because we say all the vowel sounds, then use letter combinations for a routine called the "Phonics Dance" that I got from a couple of PCVs here. Totally rad.
4. I am becoming an excellent food compiler. I had leftover Tongan food (fried chicken, 'ufi (basically, a yam/grainy potato), and some fresh pele (like spinach) and turned it into an amazing soup that I will finish for lunch today. I'm transforming, people! It's awesome!
5. I wish I had cream cheese in my life.
That's all for now. I must skidaddle before I start eating the keyboard.
For rapidity's sake, here is a link to the Camp GLOW 'Eua donation page! My next blog will be about this, so look at it for a few minutes and consider if you're interested... then I will WOW you with all the amazing details, contrived in my own Jamie-lingo, of course.
https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=421-132
Toodles, dear readers! PS, when you drive to or from work, stop somewhere (ice cream shop, coffee place, donut shop) and get yourself a yummy treat in my honor. :) Though I won't make either of those, I'm baking some fresh bread tonight. So cheers to you!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Wishlist
For those of you interested in sending a package (to the new address, of course,) here are some needed items:
--Baby wipes (always in need!)
--sticky tack for walls
--any fold-out maps of states, countries, etc... things you can get at tourism places. I'll take ANYTHING!
--stickers, any craft stuff for kids
--pudding mix (esp. if it's yellow! butterscotch, lemon, vanilla, banana are my favs!)
--taco seasonings, any packaged seasonings
--crossword puzzles
--pictures!
--books of any kind... poetry is needed in my life. I miss it.
--Tea, coffee (tea can be any flavor, though my fav's are peppermint and Earl Grey, and anything citrusy)
--granola bars
--restaurant condiments (my brilliant Aunt's idea!) anything like mayo, ketchup, BBQ, etc.
--Any drink mixes (packets)
--Small boxed foods are always a fun surprise
--Candy and chocolate, of course, always makes my day!
--Baby wipes (always in need!)
--sticky tack for walls
--any fold-out maps of states, countries, etc... things you can get at tourism places. I'll take ANYTHING!
--stickers, any craft stuff for kids
--pudding mix (esp. if it's yellow! butterscotch, lemon, vanilla, banana are my favs!)
--taco seasonings, any packaged seasonings
--crossword puzzles
--pictures!
--books of any kind... poetry is needed in my life. I miss it.
--Tea, coffee (tea can be any flavor, though my fav's are peppermint and Earl Grey, and anything citrusy)
--granola bars
--restaurant condiments (my brilliant Aunt's idea!) anything like mayo, ketchup, BBQ, etc.
--Any drink mixes (packets)
--Small boxed foods are always a fun surprise
--Candy and chocolate, of course, always makes my day!
Quick Bundle of Fun:
In class today, we were workin on pronunciations.
For example: t-i-o-n, shun shun shun. S-h- (sh sh sh!), C-H (cha cha cha!--with the cha cha dance moves to go along. I promise this isn't my idea. It's the 'Phonics Dance' I picked up from another PCV.)
Anyway, we were working on o-u's and o-w's, when one of my students said,
"Oh, Jame! Like OW! Like da time you na'e tO (fell) 'i he (on the) A (fence)!"
(Lots of laughter follows.)
Ladies and gentlement, I love my students.
For example: t-i-o-n, shun shun shun. S-h- (sh sh sh!), C-H (cha cha cha!--with the cha cha dance moves to go along. I promise this isn't my idea. It's the 'Phonics Dance' I picked up from another PCV.)
Anyway, we were working on o-u's and o-w's, when one of my students said,
"Oh, Jame! Like OW! Like da time you na'e tO (fell) 'i he (on the) A (fence)!"
(Lots of laughter follows.)
Ladies and gentlement, I love my students.
Of Body Language(s)
Tongan babies are quite slow in developing motor and verbal skills because they are rarely put down before age 2, and I assume that most families don't realize the advantages of early speech development.
In church, I've befriended a 2 year old whose size looks to be that of an 8-9 month old. Short, very small, not much hair, and no verbal skills other than grunts or laughs. And in a moment of laughter did I discover a nearly full set of teeth--the front 4 of which are already grey with rot from frequent sugary snacks.
But the little girl is cute as can be and extremely curious/observant. Though her legs are weak and walking is shaky, she rolls through the pews--holding on to the benches as she gallops--to see who will play with or notice her.
She's already mastered the Tongan, unspoken twitch for "go ahead," "yes," or acknowledgement of sorts.
The eyebrow raise. (Have I mentioned this before? Surely I have.)
It's a contagious maneuver, sometimes exhaustive, and is now part of my Tongan vernacular. (I say exhaustive because this one kid in my class--remember Grade A?--will answer my quetion(s) with a series of back-to-back eyebrow raises that looks Terret's-like. Or flirtatious, which is weird.)
If I see my students in passing in a van, I offer a quick nod and eyebrow raise. This is also sufficient for simple Yes/No questions. At first, I was very self-conscious. My eyebrows lack appeal because they're not prominent and I lack the ability to do anything playful, fun, or entertaining with them. (Oh, what I'd pay to raise one by itself!) Even in the pulpit at church, when a man or woman raises the eybrow(s), it's equivalent to a smoldering rhetorical question or a firm but divine accusation. (Angahala--sin--is often screamed.)
But my eyes are weak. Along with my terrible eyesight, when I smile, my right eye slants to a squint while my left stays fully open. And to add to the eyesight, which is a faka-hela (annoyance) here because no one else wears glasses and I have to be careful with contacts, a 20-ish Tongan guy proceeded to tell me that I look much better without my glasses and furthermore asked for my number in nearly the same breath. Even further, I mostly fit the Palangi stereotype: blonde-ish hair with blue-ish eyes; only my eye color is all mixed, but dull nonetheless. Greens, blues, and greys often swirl in un-dominant clouds around my pupil, but to no outstanding, attractive appeal.
Anyway, I digress. I suppose i'm picking up on other nonverbal cues, such as the Tongan "come here" wave with an expectant scowl. Body language is a big deal everywhere, and most is cross-culturally understood.
Like the wrist-flick. To get out of a dreaded situation or a cultural/time crunch, all I have to do is flick my left wrist and glance at the time, thus informing my colleagues that I am in a hurry, which also enforces the "Palangi-time" stereotype. Too bad it doesn't work in church.
In church, I've befriended a 2 year old whose size looks to be that of an 8-9 month old. Short, very small, not much hair, and no verbal skills other than grunts or laughs. And in a moment of laughter did I discover a nearly full set of teeth--the front 4 of which are already grey with rot from frequent sugary snacks.
But the little girl is cute as can be and extremely curious/observant. Though her legs are weak and walking is shaky, she rolls through the pews--holding on to the benches as she gallops--to see who will play with or notice her.
She's already mastered the Tongan, unspoken twitch for "go ahead," "yes," or acknowledgement of sorts.
The eyebrow raise. (Have I mentioned this before? Surely I have.)
It's a contagious maneuver, sometimes exhaustive, and is now part of my Tongan vernacular. (I say exhaustive because this one kid in my class--remember Grade A?--will answer my quetion(s) with a series of back-to-back eyebrow raises that looks Terret's-like. Or flirtatious, which is weird.)
If I see my students in passing in a van, I offer a quick nod and eyebrow raise. This is also sufficient for simple Yes/No questions. At first, I was very self-conscious. My eyebrows lack appeal because they're not prominent and I lack the ability to do anything playful, fun, or entertaining with them. (Oh, what I'd pay to raise one by itself!) Even in the pulpit at church, when a man or woman raises the eybrow(s), it's equivalent to a smoldering rhetorical question or a firm but divine accusation. (Angahala--sin--is often screamed.)
But my eyes are weak. Along with my terrible eyesight, when I smile, my right eye slants to a squint while my left stays fully open. And to add to the eyesight, which is a faka-hela (annoyance) here because no one else wears glasses and I have to be careful with contacts, a 20-ish Tongan guy proceeded to tell me that I look much better without my glasses and furthermore asked for my number in nearly the same breath. Even further, I mostly fit the Palangi stereotype: blonde-ish hair with blue-ish eyes; only my eye color is all mixed, but dull nonetheless. Greens, blues, and greys often swirl in un-dominant clouds around my pupil, but to no outstanding, attractive appeal.
Anyway, I digress. I suppose i'm picking up on other nonverbal cues, such as the Tongan "come here" wave with an expectant scowl. Body language is a big deal everywhere, and most is cross-culturally understood.
Like the wrist-flick. To get out of a dreaded situation or a cultural/time crunch, all I have to do is flick my left wrist and glance at the time, thus informing my colleagues that I am in a hurry, which also enforces the "Palangi-time" stereotype. Too bad it doesn't work in church.
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