Even before Socrates the rat came to trouble my life with ruined underwear, holey papayas, and missing loaves of bread, I had serious animal issues. They began in day one of my stay in Ha'apai with my amazing host family.
You see, I'd always had this perspective, thanks to Disney, that at the rise of the beautiful morning sun, the awaiting rooster would crow for as long as it took the cows to murmur, the little chicks to scurry, and the farmer and his wife to begin their stretch and yawn before morning chores.
DISNEY LIED.
Roosters don't crow at the dawning of a new day. Well, they do, but they also crow at breakfast, at snack times, at lunch, at dinner, at shower-time, at washing-dishes time, at I'm-in-an-important-flipping-conversation! time, at yay-for-quiet-reading time, and at taimi mohe. (Sleep time.)
Roosters are THE MOST obnoxious creatures ON THIS PLANET!
For example, my friend Sandy, who like me as rooster surround-sound since both our houses are on stilts, actually witnessed her god-awful alpha rooster stalk beneath her bedroom window at 6am, turn to look UP at her window, and screech his most awful, attention-seeking crow that he could muster.
There are many chickens at at least 3 roosters around my house at all hours, and it's quite humorous to hear an assembly-line of roosters from streets and houses beyond...it's a contest!
If I'm up and frustrated enough, I storm outside--loudly stomping, of course--and shout curses, wishes, pleas... but if it persists, I throw things. Mostly, old vegetables (rotten potatoes, shriveled/purply carrots, the usual,) etc.
Usually, the chickens/roosters scatter with screechy panic, only to plague my life with a plethora of rooster harmonies that, of course, add to the numerous dog fights, baby cries, and construction traffic.
Stupid rooster.
I'd hate to go all Socrates on that bia.
i.hate.roosters.
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